National Survey of Teens: Teens Talk About Dating, Intimacy, and Their Sexual Experiences

How And Why Does The Decision To Have Sex Occur?

When asked what leads their same-sex peers to have sex that very first time, teen boys' and girls' answers differ. Teen girls who have had intercourse feel love is the predominant factor. Those teen girls who have not yet lost their virginity are as likely to think of marriage as the deciding factor as love. Teen boys, especially sexually ex-perienced boys, most often say it is simply a matter of opportunity, although a quarter (25%) of all teen boys, virgins and non-virgins, do say love is the main consideration.

Relatively few teens say peer pressure or pressure from partners is the primary reason teens have sex for the first time. More teen boys (13%) than teen girls (7%) cite pres-sure from friends as a factor, whereas teen girls (8%) are more likely than teen boys (1%) to cite pressure from partners.

The Big Decision . . . .

	Total		Boys			Girls
	(%)		Sexually Active (%)	Not (%)		Sexually Active (%)	Not (%)
He or she has met someone he or she really loves	31		23	27		54	31
He or she is engaged or married	19		2	21		8	31
He or she has the opportunity to do it with someone he or she likes	19		43	21		11	7
He or she has reached a certain age or maturity level	14		15	16		11	14
He or she feels pressure to do it because everyone else is	10		15	12		6	8
His or her girlfriend or boyfriend is pressuring him or her	5		1	1		6	9
Don't know	2		1	2		4	0
	100		100	100		100	100

It's Okay To Be A Virgin

Just as being unattached is acceptable for teens, being a virgin is okay too. Almost half (44%) of all teens age 13 to 18 say they have made a conscious decision to delay in-tercourse, three-quarters (76%) hang out with someone who has made this decision, and the same proportion (74%) say within their group it is considered a good thing to decide to remain a virgin.

Teen girls age 13 to 16 are much more likely than teen boys age 13 to 16 to say they have made a conscious decision to remain a virgin and are also more likely to have friends who have made this decision. At every age, teen girls are more likely than teen boys to say the decision to remain a virgin is viewed in a positive light by their friends (87% vs. 62%). However, a majority of teen boys do share this view.

The Decision to Remain a Virgin

	13-14		15-16		17-18
Percent who say . . .	Boys	Girls	Boys	Girls	Boys	Girls
They have made a decision to stay a virgin	53	68	36	47	30	26
Someone in their group has made this decision	62	89	60	88	76	75
Among their group, it's a good thing to make the decision to remain a virgin	67	85	57	89	62	88

A quarter (27%) of teens under 15 have been in a situation when they could have had sex with someone they liked but decided not to. By way of contrast, more than half (56%) of teen boys and two-thirds of teen girls (68%) age 15 and older have been in such a situation. Teen girls who have turned down such opportunities most often say they did so because they felt they just weren't ready (44%) or had made a conscious decision not to have sex with anyone (29%). Although teen boys also often cite not feeling ready (27%) and having made a decision not to have sex (23%), they mention other reasons as well.

Sexuality And Religion

According to teens themselves, religion plays a significant role in their lives. Three-quarters (78%) say religion is at least somewhat important to them, including almost half (43%) who say it is very important. Teen girls, especially, say religion is impor-tant to them (84%). Overall, almost half of teens say they have "made a conscious de-cision to wait to have sex." The more importance a teen boy or girl places on religion, the more likely he or she is to name this as their reason for delaying intercourse in-stead of reasons such as "worried about pregnancy or STDs" or "haven't met the right person yet."

Not only does religion underlie why teens say they have not had sex yet (of those who have not), it is also correlated for teen boys with actual postponement of sexual activ-ity. That is, the more importance a teen boy places on religion, the less likely he is to have had sex. Religion is not correlated to the same degree with whether or not a teen girl has had sex. Teen boys who say religion is important to them are also less likely to have had multiple partners, but again, the same does not appear to be true for girls.

Religion and Sex

	Importance of Religion
	Total (%)	Very (%)	Somewhat (%)	Not too (%)	Not at all (%)
Made a conscious decision to wait	44	55	40	36	18
Boys	39	51	38	31	17
Girls	49	59	41	45	21
Have had sexual intercourse	31	24	36	35	41
Boys	36	26	39	43	51
Girls	26	21	33	23	18
Have had multiple partners	15	14	16	15	20
Boys	19	17	20	19	26
Girls	11	10	13	9	6

Religion is also correlated with whether a teen has engaged in sexual or intimate ac-tivities other than sex, for both teen girls and boys. The more importance a teen places on religion, the less likely he or she is to have had engaged in activities like French kissing and petting. Specifically, six in ten (61%) of those teens who say religion is very important to them have tried French kissing, compared with almost nine in ten (86%) teens who say religion is not at all important. Likewise, less than half (42%) of very religious teens have engaged in petting, compared with three-quarters (76%) of those who are not religious.